The Artist Quarter: the End of a Season Analyzed from a Purely Statistical Standpoint
by Wonder Dave, who will refer to himself in 3rd person for the remainder of this post.
So, the Artist Quarter Poetry Slam determines its finals based on a point system. The 8 top point earners are qualified for Finals. The point system works like this:
1st Place = 8 points
2nd Place = 4 points
3rd Place = 2 points
Competing in a Slam = 1 point
(If you sign up but are not chosen to compete, you will still earn a point as though you did compete.)
The Poet Standings prior to the March 2nd slam night are listed on the left, any changes resulting form that show made in bold on the right: (Apologies from Cole, the bold on the current stylesheet does not show up very well, and I’ve got to purchase the rights to change the style sheet from WordPress.)
6 is 9 16 Points
Michael Mlekoday 13
El Guante 12
Sierra Demulder 10
Gary Dop 9
Jenn Sparks 6-7
Wonder Dave 5-6
Inky 5-6
Sam Cook 5-9
Casey Degnan 3-4
Michael Shaeffer 3- 4
Britta 3
EZRA 3
Reverend Pat D 3-4
Hannah Cushing 2
Ruth & Consequences 2
Buzz K. Himmelbach 2
Matthew Rucker 2
Ja 4 Real 2
Dylan Garity 2
Chadword 2
Homeless Ryan K 2-3
Pablo Dosh 2
Shane Hawley 1-3
Madi 1
Anna 1
Heather AKA Heather 1
Janna 1
Katherine Glover 1
Greta Colburn 1
Chris 1
Doc Nylen 1
Robert Martin 1-2
IBé* 0-8
All the poets have one last chance to up their scores at the next AQ Slam on April 6th, hosted by the always delightful Ruth Kohtz. The AQ Slam top 8 currently looks like this:
6 is 9 16
Michael Mlekoday 13
El Guante 12
Sierra Demulder 10
Gary Dop 9
Sam Cook 9
_____________________
IBé* 8
Jenn Sparks 7
_____________________
Wonder Dave** 6
Inky** 6
- IBé must compete at least one more time in order to be allowed in the Soap-Boxing Finals Show.
- * Currently tied for 8th place should IBe not return.
So right now, anyone with 9 points or more is guaranteed a spot in Finals even if they don’t compete again. There is no mathematical way to knock them off the list with only one slam to go. Sidenote: in the instance of an 8th place tie, the AQ will allow up to 9 people in finals. If more than two people tie for 8th there will be a short slam off to determine who gets the 8th Finals slot.
Anyone who wins this next slam (who has previously competed) would make the Finals. Anybody with 4 points or less NEEDS to make the top 2 to make it in to Finals. 3rd place isn’t good enough for anyone except Jenn Sparks, Inky, and WD. Wait, that doesn’t sound right but you get it don’t you?
So, does your favorite poet have a shot? Who has the best odds at an upset? Let’s take a look:
IBé: 8 points- Would guarantee himself a slot as long as he shows up.
Jenn Sparks: 7 points- At this point, assuming Jenn Sparks competes, she has a good shot at finals. If she places in the top 2 she’s guaranteed in. Inky and Dave placing above her could potentially knock her out IF they place 1st or 2nd. She could still make it in with a 3rd place finish otherwise. Jenn has made the final round and placed at previous slams. Her Finals slot is potentially at the mercy of IBé’s return or someone not yet in the top 8 placing first. Jenn Sparks had best BRING IT in April.
Inky & Wonder Dave: 6 points- Like I said, to guarantee a slot for either of these very attractive slammers, they need to place top 3, preferably in the 1 or 2 to be truly safe. Again their slot is contingent on IBé’s return and who places at the next slam.
Casey Degnan, Michael Shaeffer, & The Rev Pat D: 4 points each- these three should really plan to win in April. Yes, there are scenarios where the 4 points that 2nd place earns you might be enough for them to squeak into the 8th place slot but these scenarios seem pretty unlikely. Time to get your game face on, boys!
Shane Hawley, EZRA, Britta, & Homeless Ryan K: 3 Points- Well, 1st place would put them in for sure. 2nd place could allow one of them to squeak by…. maybe if a couple of people currently ranked above them don’t show up, or they could end up tying at 7 points for the 8th place slot. Not sure what the AQ intends to do in the instance of a tie. 3rd place does them no good so they’re going to have to go big or go home.
Anyone with 1 or 2 points:- MUST FINISH FIRST. No alternatives. Don’t f*** it up.
The Next AQ Slam is on April 6th, the last chance for poets to qualify at Kieran’s (the Slam across the river from St. Paul) is this coming Tuesday, March 10th! Be sure to check out the hot competition at both of these upcoming events.
See You on Game Day!
-WD
www.wonderdave.net
Good Luck to everyone in the hunt. I’ll be featuring down in Austin where it all started for me. Somebody do something new, something they have to!, in their voice, something they would die over if they didn’t get it out that night, that’s the essences of who they are that won’t score for shit, maybe something like my last appearance at the AQ. Then someone do a 5 minute beautiful poem and rendition of fuck you after they’ve been mathematically eliminated, that say’s this is my time, my mic., and then for the rest of you win!, be tight and memorize every line and facial expression.
love me, I miss you all, more and more everyday spent away
Ooops! Unintentionally left EZRA & Britta out of the 3 points each category! Sorry Guys!
Oh, it’s like this. I was not aware this was a running for the finals. I guess I’m going to have to show up on the 6th. See you all!
This is FUN!